I sent an email a while ago, because I was curious about what was coming up for the people in this community (looking for a little bit of inspiration for these emails, really).

I was curious about the questions, fears, hopes, and ideas that have been circling lately.

I got back all kinds of incredible responses. Mostly questions, from tiny very-easy-to-answer questions about retreat specifics, to big (GINORMOUS) questions with no single answer.

Today's "question" isn't exactly a question, but I wanted to share it, because I think it's something a lot of us can resonate with — and I had a few ideas about how to work with it.

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Q: "What am I afraid of? Good question. I was asked the same question a few days ago by someone I had just met at a party. I couldn't answer, and the party went on with small talk as the question resonated in my body and mind.

And here it is again in your email. 🙌🏽

The key to answering  this question for me would be to drop  all thoughts voices and look inside myself and try and let it out.

As I feel scared to even pronounce it .

I'm scared of myself .

I want to properly indulge in a path which I'm hesitant to take on."

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A: Thank you for sharing this so honestly. There’s something beautifully human about what you’ve named here. It’s almost a paradox: the thing we long for most (to finally meet ourselves) is often the very thing we’re most afraid of.

When we imagine “meeting ourselves,” we often picture those intimidating layers: the wounds, the fears, the darkness. The things we’ve buried or tiptoed around.

It makes total sense that saying it out loud feels scary.

And yet, if we can stretch our capacity to meet those parts, what we eventually come to is something almost… divine. That essential, unconditional part of who we are.

So what do you do when the thing you’re most afraid of is you?

The first thing that comes up for me is this:

You don’t have to do it alone. There’s something powerful about doing this work together — whether that’s with a therapist, in a retreat, or simply by bringing someone you trust into the process so you’re not holding it by yourself. Letting yourself be seen. Knowing that you're not alone.

If you can, find others who've walked the path and can help guide you. Or even people who are on the same path with you right now. Just that sense of being in it together can make it so much less scary.

Even just naming it here was a wonderful place to start!

And there’s something in what you wrote — “I want to properly indulge in a path I’m hesitant to take on.”

There’s already a part of you that knows this path is worth taking. That’s the beginning of the hero’s journey: you descend, you face the monster, and on the other side of it you find the treasure — the thing you then bring back into your life and your world.

As you continue on this path, know this: whatever you find is just truth. It's much scarier when you're avoiding it than it will be when you're facing it head on.

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And finally: Thank you for naming this so openly. I think it's something we all feel, whether or not we admit it (to ourselves or anyone else).

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Love,

JENNIFER TESSLER

Founder & Director, Alalaho